Blind Photographer

A 2007 self-portrait made in an exam at UCLA's Jules Stein Eye Center.


I have horrible vision, and I mean that in the most literal way. My sight is awful. I have a condition called Kerataconus, a deteriorating condition in which for me means that my cornea is becoming detached from the rest of my eye.

It's been the great irony of my life in my career as a photographer. When I was in high school, I was diagnosed with it during a regular eye check-up to get a new prescription in glasses (I'd been wearing glasses since I was eight years old). Fortunately, for me, hard contact lenses correct the problem, otherwise I would have to get a corneal transplant. With my contact lenses my vision is about 20/20 in each eye.

So here's what happens: my eyes are the shape of a(n) (American) football, but the contact lens pushes my cornea down and makes it round again correcting it. Soft or disposable lenses don't work for me since they mold to the shape of the eye. Glasses too are only partially effective. Without my contacts, I am not crippled. I can still read and really function normally. What I can't do is drive (well, I can and have but I'm not supposed to) or photograph (I can and have but the results are often a bit depressing).

I've never really divulged this information for fear that it would somehow hurt me in my career. I remember during a photography internship at The Pasadena Star-News when my editor Walt Mancini, a great teacher, would be particularly hard on me for anything out of focus. It had more to do with the fact that I was shooting with manual lenses back then and was still pretty new to photography, but I was extremely self-conscious and always a bit scared that my vision had tanked and I was on my way out. I think this might be part of the reason that despite being infatuated with photography, I still took a writing position in my first "real" job. It's definitely why I use Canon and autofocus now.

The reason I'm writing this is because I've been without my contact lenses this week because of an abrasion on my eye and must let it heal before I can put them back on. In effect, I'm out of commission and really haven't been able to photograph this week. However with the holidays, the city is very quiet and semi-deserted, plus my little boy is out of school until Jan. 22, the nanny's off, so in my Mr. Mom role, I've been occupied changing diapers, entertaining kids and doing lots of cooking.